Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The 12 Stages of a Holohoax Tale

1. The survivor is put in a cattle car filled with hundreds of jews and a poop bucket, and sent to the camp, usually Auschwitz. Many Jews die of suffocation, but none of thirst, since a jew can survive for 3 years just on their own saliva.

2. The survivor stands in a line, to be chosen either for the gas chamber or the kitchen/orchestra/workshops. Close family members are always put in the other line. Even though all those under 16 are immediately gassed at Auschwitz, many young kids are sent to the work line.

3. The survivor comes face to face with Joseph Mengele himself, who decides to spare their life because Mengele had never seen a dancing Jew, a singling Jew, a Jew with no pimples, or a Jew who said they would work hard for him.

4. The survivor lives on a meager ration of 200-300 calories per day, including turnip heads/potato skins/excrement/grass soup/sawdust salami/human flesh, bones and hair/cat/rat/dog meat/mice/etc.

5. However they are still strong enough to work for the Germans, including making furniture/carpentry/electrician/plumber/V-2maker.

6. The survivor has some gold, daimonds or other jewelrey hidden about their person, which they use to bribe the guards for favours, or pay for a visit to the camp brothel.

7. They are taken to the gas chambers, but miraculously escape at the last minute, evading the guards. All their friends are killed. They witness other horrible atrocities, including babies burned alive in pits, geysers of jewish blood spurting out of the ground, or people burned alive in the ovens when the gas chambers were too busy.

8. The survivor is then forced to take part in a 'death march' which never actually leads to death. Often the survivor runs away!

9. The survivor is then transferred to another camp, where they cheat death again. This may be repeated any number of times.

10. The survivor escapes, right under the guards' noses, lives in the forest for a couple of years, then eventually emigrates to America/Britain/Australia/Israel although they have no friends, family or money. Then the survivor buys a multinational corporation. They are the only member of their large family of 200 to survive, and weigh only 40-50 pounds when they are rescued.

11. For 60 years the survivor says nothing about his or her experiences. Then suddenly they can't talk about anything else. They usually write a memoir called 'Dancing to the Music of my Dreams - A Survivor's Story'.

12. The survivor has now found peace, and spends the rest of his/her life telling their amazing story to schoolchildren. Only the very youngest ones, of course.

-by: CooDayTar, Yehuda Abraham & Lone Wolf

Other Articles of Interest:
- Introduction to the Holocaust™ Hoax
- Tales of the Holohoax - Archive of absurd "Holocaust Survivor" stories


Greg Bacon said...

I too was a Holocaust™ survivor. My mother, 'Nana,' carried my father's seed in her mouth for four long years, as she didn't want to get pregnant and subject me to the horrible Nazi atrocities, like having to do physical labor for a living.

When "Nana' escaped from Auschwitz for the 5th time, with the help of some bears and wolves, she deposited the sperm she had been carrying in her mouth into her private parts and gave me life in 1947.

As soon as my mother gave birth, she died along with my entire family from exhaustion from having to work 48 hours a week... Those monsters!

But I survived by living in the streets and taking up my mother's trade of streetwalker....

And now you owe me $5 million dollars in GOLD for my tale and if you don't pay, you're just a vile, loathsome anti-Semite and will be reported to the ADL's Hate Crimes Unit.

Crush The Talmudic Zionist Serpent said...

Fantastic Lone Wolf, made my day :)
The Dirty Dozen of Talmudic Zionist lies and deceit.

There are some fantastic stories with regard to the HoloHoax. My personal favourite has got to be the geysers of blood shooting up into the air for several months.

However, this one comes a close second - The Miracle of The Colour Coded Flames. Arnold Friedman testified at the 1985 Zundel trial that while he was in Auschwitz he could tell who was being burned in the ovens by the colour of the flames that shot out of the cremation chimney. Friedman told the court thta if blue flames shot out of the chimney it meant a Hungarian Jew was being burned and if green flames shout out it meant a Polish Jew was being burned.

Lone Wolf said...

The color coded flames. Haven't seen that one yet. lol, thanks

Crush The Talmudic Zionist Serpent said...

Here's another couple of unbelievable outrageous stories -

Fillip Muller, another important witness for the gas chambers, claimed in his book Eyewitness
Auschwitz that muscles of those who had been shot were cut from their legs by the Nazis and thrown into a bucket. He claimed the muscles were still working and contracting, making the bucket jump about.

Dr. Henry Heller, was saved at Auschwitz when a former colleague, a German, recognized him
as he was being led to the gas chambers and mercifully turned on the water instead of the gas.
(Chicago Tribune, May 4, 1975.)

Lone Wolf said...

Thanks Crush. I will have to add these tales to the archives.

Anonymous said...

Stage 13: The Holohoax tale gets published on 'Thy Weapon Of War' and has the piss ripped out of it by cynical commentators who know that 'the Holocaust' is a dirty, big lie from beginning to end.

Anonymous said...

You are all idiots. You should be completely ashamed of your stupidity.

Lone Wolf said...

^uh huh, suuure